We are not perfect; nobody is. As a child, when our guardian told us not to touch something hot, we usually do the opposite to test its gravity out of curiosity. When my daughter, Ms. A, was two years old, she once wanted to grab the mug of coffee out of my hand; I told her, ‘this is very hot,’ she did not believe me. Instead, she touched the mug with one finger that she immediately retrieved. Yes, she was able to touch the mug with her finger – because I let her.
This is just one of the many incidents that our children will disobey us, so it is essential to establish trust. With my daughter’s experience with the hot mug of coffee, she’s learned to trust me that when I say ‘no’ to things she wanted to do, especially when consequences are explained to her, she will not do it – why? Because we learn better when we get hurt. She will disobey me for a million other reasons, but that’s okay – she’ll learn.
As adults, we regret parts of our life when we were difficult with things we were told would be good for us, yet we did what we wanted anyway. I’m certain that some of us are currently where we wanted to be, but to a degree, we also wonder what if we actually just followed what we were told initially, would things be easier and better than where we are now? It will not always be a regret; things would actually turn out so much better on rare occasions. The key is to establish trust in the relationship, trust in one’s judgment, trust in one’s capability, and trust in one’s process of discovering oneself.
Let me tell you, your past doesn’t determine your future; what you’re doing with your life now is, so don’t even waste your time reminiscing and dwelling in regrets. The more failures, the better! Everything happens for a reason (you’ve heard this so many times); use your shortcomings to your advantage – learn from them.
To some of the strong-willed individuals out there, I’m sure you still have this unconquerable determination to stand for what you believe in. Still, only by experience will you learn to trust the people you know who genuinely support you, and at the same time become aware of the consequences of your choice. Just like a leopard who cannot change its spots, you cannot change who you are, but you can use your uniqueness to your advantage and take charge of your life, be smart about it.